it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
