your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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