who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
