we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
