I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My pussy is not your playground.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize