But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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