So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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