i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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