Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
