why do cheetos always look like penises
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
