There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize