you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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