I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
