And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
