I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
