the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
