69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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