Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
