please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize