Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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