arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Come on in and take your pants off
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