He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Never underestimate the power of titties
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