whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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