Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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