You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she told me i tasted like america
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
