so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize