so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
People in love make me want to vomit
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
