you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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