I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
