GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
