fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
