I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize