Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
