Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize