Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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