is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
