one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
