I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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