yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
