Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
