You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
