he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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