I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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