The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize