Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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