Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
