No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
