come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
