his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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