Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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