Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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