Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
