and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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