there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
