You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he thought i was a dude.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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