My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
