Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
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Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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