I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
