That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
