Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
